What is small talk? Small talk is a light, informal conversation that you can have with almost anyone at any time anywhere. It can be with a stranger in an elevator, a colleague in the break room, or a close friend at a bar. Small talk is used to pass the time, to avoid that awkward silence, and also an opportunity to learn something interesting about the other person. It is a great opportunity to build rapport with clients and colleagues for better career opportunities. It can be used to make new friends and have meaningful relationships. Making small talk is the key to building networks and connecting with people.
Small Talk Tips
So then, how can I be good at it? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that anyone can learn to be a good small talker. The bad news is that it is easier said than done and you will need to practice, a lot. If you are willing to put in the time and effort, you can follow the following tips below.
- Learn to be a good listner
- Avoid conversation killers and give details
- Relax and don’t rush
Making Small Talk: Learn to be a good listener.
It goes without saying that in order for you to be a good conversationalist, you need to listen and show genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Stop thinking about what you are going to say next and really pay attention to the speaker. People love to talk but they love it more when they feel they are being heard.
Making Small Talk: Avoid conversation killers and give details.
Example: Don’t do this.
How was your weekend? It was ok, nothing special.
That is what we call a conversation killer. By responding with a simple “It was ok, nothing special.” you are not giving the other person a lot of options for replying.
Instead, do this:
How was your weekend? It was ok, nothing special. I just watched “ABC” on Netflix and ordered some pizza and took my dog to a park.
Maybe watching Netflix and taking your dog to a park is not interesting and maybe it’s nothing special, but that’s small talk. It’s talking about unimportant everyday things. However, you have now given the other person a few ways to respond, Netflix, ABC show, pizza, or dogs and pets. In small talk, avoid the conversation killer response and provide some details.
Relax and don’t rush.
One mistake many people make during a conversation is they get too excited or nervous. It’s ok to take a second or two before responding. We sometimes feel like we need to respond right away and we don’t always say the most clever, witty, thoughtful, or relevant things when we rush. So, relax and think before speaking.
Next time you are with a stranger in an elevator, a colleague in the break room, or a close friend at a bar, try making small talk. See what interesting things you can find out. You’ll be surprised by how interesting and wonderful they can be.
